family stuff

There are four kids in my family. I mean I have one older brother and two older sisters. Anyone with this many siblings knows that things can be tricky and over time everyone falls into their roles. I need to seriously work on my relationship with one of my sisters. I don't know where we went wrong, but when she called me last night it was so unusual that I knew she must have bad news. That's sad. My other sister and I call each other sometimes 12 times a day, but with this sister it just isn't warm anymore. So when she said, "Hey, this is Betty" my mind went instantly into trouble mode and I answered, very shortly, "What's up"? To seal the deal, what was up was some bad news about my Mother, who lives in the same town with Betty who is now in her role as family-spokesperson-when-something-happens-to-Mom-or-Dad. Mom had a stroke with very little, if any, bleeding, they think. She's sometimes confused about where she is, but alternates with periods of complete clarity. We won't know for a few days how much of the fog is residual and how much is lack-of-sleep and/or drug induced. I asked Mom how she felt and she said physically she didn't know how she felt but that she was "really scared". Me too. One of my friends uses the expression, "you have a lot on your plate" in times like this. I'm choosing to call it Thanksgiving dinner and see everything on my plate as something to be thankful for. I'm especially thankful for moments of clarity when all of the crap fades and what's really important comes into focus.