Drama in Real Life

Okay, so I know these people, I'll call them the "Whys". The husband is Ed and the wife is Jill. If you've seen SNL, the Whys are the couple who should be divorced. You can't be around them without Jill calling Ed a pr#$*. We had the non-pleasure of being in a business partnership with the Whys for several years. We entered into this partnership before we knew the nature of their relationship and their personalities. Ed is no picnic, either. When he drinks his friends call him "Devil Boy", for good reason. When business was good, Jill took full advantage of any perk she could find including free gas for her 2 suburbans, free cell phones and service, new boobs, and trips to Vegas. Ed, most of the time walked around with this one throbbing vein in his forehead, ready to kill anyone who got in his way. Oh, and did I mention they have FOUR KIDS? The amount isn't the problem, the problem is that Jill doesn't like kids, she just likes the attention she got when she was pregnant. This is not my opinion, she told me this. This is a woman who is completely selfish, but also completely upfront about it. Oh, and another perk of our business relationship was entering their 3 boys in Motocross. We're talking trailers, bikes, equipment, practice, travel, etc. Ed left work each day at 3 to go ride bikes with his kids. This is a lovely thought in theory. More time with the kids and all. The whole leaving the business behind part wasn't really working for us, though. And did I mention how many injuries these kids sustained? For three years, someone in that family had a broken bone. When one would heal, another one would crash and break something. Or fall down the stairs, the did that a lot, too. One time, when Jill was 8 months pregnant, she took little Timmy(3) on a ride on an ATV. Of course they crashed, Timmy breaking his collarbone and Jill breaking her pelvis. I did mention she was 8 months pregnant, right? One day, after Ed discovers Jill canoodling with a fraternity brother, Ed announces he wants to end our partnership so he can focus on his family. We tried to act disappointed, but really we did a happy dance and gladly signed the buyout agreement. For the past couple of years it's been really quiet, not having to hear the daily drama of the Why household. Then, when we were one payment away from complete ownership we get the big news: The Whys are getting a divorce. Ed tells us Jill has had three affairs, the current one with a female contractor who was remodeling their house. Soon, lawyers are hired, restraining orders are filed and the divorce is under way! They agree to custody of alternating weeks. So far, Jill has gone on vacation with her girlfriend during her week and once left the kids home with the emotionally wrecked 12 year old son while she went out to a cowboy bar. Is my bias showing? It needn't, Jill's actions are stranger than any slant I could possibly put on this sad-but-true story. When they went to court, Jill asked for maintenance of $7,500 a month, based on what her other divorced friends were getting. The judge reviewed this and awarded her $1,300 a month based on Ed's new status of "unemployed." Now she's really mad. No longer having the free phone and service from our business, she has to go out and buy a new phone and get a new number. Since 1997 my cell phone number has been 433-7777. A nice little number, easy to remember. Jill's new number is 443-7777. She the difference? No? Neither does anyone else. My phone rings all day long with wrong numbers for Jill. This is the worst and weirdest coincidence in the history of the world. Jill and I are no longer friends. When we were in business together I tolerated her at best. Once we cut that tie, I was over her completely. Now I'm her answering service. Oh yes, I am delivering messages to them. One lady called to ask what she should do with the Why's dogs that Jill doesn't want anymore. I had my husband call Ed to go and rescue his dogs he didn't know were in danger. Divorce is the ugliest, most painful thing in the world. What those kids are going through... I can't even imagine. I'm sure it was terrible when their parents were together, but now it's hell on earth. I don't feel comfortable talking to anyone about this. It's still a small enough town that we're all connected by a very few degrees of separation. But having changed all the names and numbers and blogged away, I feel much better and I'm going to go out and plant some flowers now. Thank god for technology.