Fun With Fireworks
I have two children who are afraid of fireworks. They hate the noise, they hate how unpredictable fireworks are, it's all just too much. Because of this we don't go to fireworks displays or set any off at our house. Last year I decided to ease them into the whole July Fourth scene. I picked up a pack of sparklers and a few whizzy, spinny things that make sparks on the ground. You remember sparklers? You hold them in your hand and write your name in the air. They sparkle and are pretty and last all of 15 seconds? Glorious childhood memories were conjured up when I bought that pack. Fast forward to last summer. I gathered everybody on the steps by the driveway. I had wet the grass with the hose, nice and safe, don't want any freak accidents. It was still early so it wasn't dark and scary. I used my best "Mommy-is-the-island-of-safety" voice and it went something like this:
Okay, we're going to start with this cute little flower basket one. Let's see, it says it emits a shower of sparks. Oooh! That sounds pretty. Here we go!
(lights the flower basket which goes crazy with sparks and loud, high pitched whistles which scares the bejesus out of me and I FALL DOWN trying to get away from the thing. This is all caught on tape, of course)
Kids scoot up a few steps. I get up, apologize for the bad words I've yelled and pull out the next demon firework. It's a little race car! My son loves cars!
Look, Honey! This one is a car! Now, it's going to shower sparks and make noises like the other one, okay? (okay) Ready? (ready)
(lights the race car which does indeed go crazy with sparks and whistles but has the added bonus of ROLLING STRAIGHT TOWARD THE STEPS!) Run! Run!
Kids are all on top of their Dad who is looking quite amused by this time.
Alright, that was a little scary. I'm really sorry about that. Look, all we have now are sparklers! I only bought the kind that you look at and don't hold in your hand. Maybe next year we can get the kind you hold. These I will put into the ground and we can stand back and watch them. Okay? (okay)
(lights the sparklers, which do indeed begin sparkling and shooting big chunks of burning embers into the air, one of which goes into the sleeve of my tee-shirt.) I'M ON FIRE! HELP! HELP! (jumping and flapping)
Kids and Dad are in the house, watching out the window. Show's over.
Have a happy July 4th everybody and remember: stop, drop and roll.
Okay, we're going to start with this cute little flower basket one. Let's see, it says it emits a shower of sparks. Oooh! That sounds pretty. Here we go!
(lights the flower basket which goes crazy with sparks and loud, high pitched whistles which scares the bejesus out of me and I FALL DOWN trying to get away from the thing. This is all caught on tape, of course)
Kids scoot up a few steps. I get up, apologize for the bad words I've yelled and pull out the next demon firework. It's a little race car! My son loves cars!
Look, Honey! This one is a car! Now, it's going to shower sparks and make noises like the other one, okay? (okay) Ready? (ready)
(lights the race car which does indeed go crazy with sparks and whistles but has the added bonus of ROLLING STRAIGHT TOWARD THE STEPS!) Run! Run!
Kids are all on top of their Dad who is looking quite amused by this time.
Alright, that was a little scary. I'm really sorry about that. Look, all we have now are sparklers! I only bought the kind that you look at and don't hold in your hand. Maybe next year we can get the kind you hold. These I will put into the ground and we can stand back and watch them. Okay? (okay)
(lights the sparklers, which do indeed begin sparkling and shooting big chunks of burning embers into the air, one of which goes into the sleeve of my tee-shirt.) I'M ON FIRE! HELP! HELP! (jumping and flapping)
Kids and Dad are in the house, watching out the window. Show's over.
Have a happy July 4th everybody and remember: stop, drop and roll.
posted by Her Serene Highness will do at 11:07 AM
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