Really, I'm potty trained

I am supposed to be on Spring Break, but due to somebody's trigger happy mouse finger, the wrong departure day was chosen for our flight to the glorious southwest. To pacify the masses, we are doing Spring Break-y things in our area. We went to our nearest metropolitan area yesterday to go shopping. It was a lovely time. Our little one, L'il Juanita is learning to use the "big girl potty" and a trip to the mall is fraught with the fear of accidents at every turn. We were at a kind of fancy mall that had not only clean restrooms, not only family restrooms, but clean family restrooms with teeny little toilets for toddlers! Juanita thought they were very cute and wanted to spend our entire day with the little potties. She didn't want to use them, however. So, we were in the restroom with a toddler with wet undies (the pants stayed dry somehow) and nothing to change her into. Fortunately, this lovely restroom had a coin operated diaper machine! I'm saved! In go the quarters, out comes nothing. A janitor was right outside so I asked him for help.

Me: Hi, the diaper machine ate my quarters, could you help me?

Jan: You need a diaper?

Me: Yes.

Jan: Okay...... let me get the other janitor, she's a lady.

Me: Umm, okay.

Jan: (On radio with speaker on) Hey Barb? Barb? Yeah, hey, there's a lady here who needs a TAMPON! What? A TAMPON! Yeah, she said the machine ate her money. Can you come and give her a TAMPON? Oh, yeah, I think I have the key to the machine.

Me: It was the diaper machine.

Jan: Just a minute, and I'll see what I have in our supply closet.

10 seconds later, Jan reappears with his hands full. In one hand he has two diapers. In the other, he has several tampons. He just held out both hands to me for me to decide what I really needed. I chose one diaper. He told me to take the extra one, just in case. I wanted to say to him, "Look, Buddy. I'm no astronaut, now give me the diaper!"

Astronaut Love Triangle

So, I was watching the "news" last night, okay it was Nancy Grace, but anyway..... she was talking about the astronaut love triangle. I just love saying that, "astronaut love triangle". It's like the Bermuda Triangle, only worse. Instead of disappearing, you just have every minute and humiliating detail of your life broadcast to the entire world, with pictures! I have a problem with broadcasting minute and intimate details about the victim. "Steamy emails found in astronaut love triangle!" None of them were to or from the would-be kidnapper/killer lady, so why air them? Plus, they weren't that steamy, I thought they were sort of sweet in an email-has-no-emotion-but-we-are-in-love/lust sort of way. But they were obviously not for public consumption.