Are you saying I'm bitter?
I'm here, really I am. I've been blogging away, just not posting anything. I use my blog as therapy, you see, and some entries are just not fit for public consumption. There is one in draft-form about my views on the Pro-Choice debate. See? Too dicey a topic and I was really upset at the time, so, no-posty. Another one was a dissertation on the song, Lips of an Angel. No, I'm not kidding. That song is such a sad commentary on relationships, and if I hear it one more time I may do something rash. Short of that, I blogged about it and I feel much better. Not going to post that one, either.
I have had a huge blast-from-the-past that has really tipped me upside down. This is tricky because I know there is a possibility that one of the people involved may read this post, and with that I'm just going to take my chances. Some things need to be said. A long, long time ago, I moved to a new state with my young family. We joined a church that seemed to have what we were looking for: young people, fun activities, spiritually fulfilling, great music. After we moved and reported to our friends how great everything was in the new town, several of them packed up their families and moved as well. We were very involved with the church from early on and were celebrated as a fulfillment of a prophecy concerning the growth of this church. This was heady stuff for us being young, new to the church and relatively new as believers. But, we were eager and willing to give whatever we could to the church. This is a church that was born from the splitting of another church (red flag!). And, to tell you the truth, the town of 80,000 in which this church resides is FULL of church splits. People new to the area think it's just lovely how many churches we have, without realizing they all used to be the same church. I'm not talking about outgrowing the sanctuary and needing to plant a new church. I'm talking about mutiny. I'm talking about people who decide their pastor is wrong and go and start their own church where "the truth" will be taught. Sorry to digress, but you need to understand the atmosphere in this place, not exactly brotherly. We were having a lovely time and had been members for a few years when, apparently, the Pastor's Wife decided she had had as much of us (mostly me, she was always very friendly with my husband) as she could take. After we were featured speakers at the church's Marriage Seminar and Radio show, life at the church was never the same. Here are the areas of PW's (Pastor's Wife) attack:
1) Bad Mother: I refused to spank my 2 year old and would not take the advice of using an object (wooden spoon, hairbrush) to spank with as an alternative to using my hand. They also advocated snapping the fleshy part of an infant's thigh with a toothbrush when they "misbehave". I didn't know infants could misbehave, but apparently I had a lot to learn. The actual "You are a bad mother" quote came from a time PW noticed my 2-year-old drank milk from a baby bottle. I guess I was spoiling her.
2) Bad church member: PW circulated a story that had me storming into her office (yes, PW needed her own office complex) and telling her that I was too important to serve in the nursery. Hi, these people hit babies with toothbrushes, you had better believe I wanted to be in that nursery. When we met with PW's husband, the Pastor and presumed leader of the church, he said, "You're right. She lied and has a problem with you but I am married to her and I'll deny this meeting ever happened."
3) Evil: yes, evil. Part of my badness was being a sorority member. I was told to take back any oaths I had made and repent. But the kicker was one night, when we were not in attendance, a lecture was given, complete with flowcharts, about how we (specifically me and my family) were not part of any prophecy and, in fact, were sent by the devil. I'm not even sort of kidding. They were shown how we had come in, and who we brought with us and how evil we all were. They said anyone who had come into contact with us could come forward for cleansing, and several people did. Like my old best friend, for whom I served as her Matron-of-Honor at her wedding to the man we introduced her to. We were shunned. Not that we didn't already have one foot out the door, but this made it official.
Since then we have had many people call us who eventually left under similar circumstances or after having realized what actually happened with us. A lot of people are still there. Some of them were dear friends of ours. Dear, like people we had listed as alternate guardians in our Wills. That kind of Dear. Now, even all these years later, these people will reverse their shopping carts if they see us at the grocery store. The PW completely ignores me. She will talk to my husband, but not me, even if I look her in the eye and say, "Hello". It doesn't matter where we are, it happened once at a movie theater and again not long ago at a funeral.
So, did the eager Young Married Group Leaders, MOPS leader, intercessory prayer group member, choir member, run to another church? Um, not so much.
Oh, and my blast-from-the-past? Meeting, in a totally random fashion, my old best friend's new best friend. They are all going to a marriage seminar at that same church this weekend. Good luck with that, and, watch your back.
I have had a huge blast-from-the-past that has really tipped me upside down. This is tricky because I know there is a possibility that one of the people involved may read this post, and with that I'm just going to take my chances. Some things need to be said. A long, long time ago, I moved to a new state with my young family. We joined a church that seemed to have what we were looking for: young people, fun activities, spiritually fulfilling, great music. After we moved and reported to our friends how great everything was in the new town, several of them packed up their families and moved as well. We were very involved with the church from early on and were celebrated as a fulfillment of a prophecy concerning the growth of this church. This was heady stuff for us being young, new to the church and relatively new as believers. But, we were eager and willing to give whatever we could to the church. This is a church that was born from the splitting of another church (red flag!). And, to tell you the truth, the town of 80,000 in which this church resides is FULL of church splits. People new to the area think it's just lovely how many churches we have, without realizing they all used to be the same church. I'm not talking about outgrowing the sanctuary and needing to plant a new church. I'm talking about mutiny. I'm talking about people who decide their pastor is wrong and go and start their own church where "the truth" will be taught. Sorry to digress, but you need to understand the atmosphere in this place, not exactly brotherly. We were having a lovely time and had been members for a few years when, apparently, the Pastor's Wife decided she had had as much of us (mostly me, she was always very friendly with my husband) as she could take. After we were featured speakers at the church's Marriage Seminar and Radio show, life at the church was never the same. Here are the areas of PW's (Pastor's Wife) attack:
1) Bad Mother: I refused to spank my 2 year old and would not take the advice of using an object (wooden spoon, hairbrush) to spank with as an alternative to using my hand. They also advocated snapping the fleshy part of an infant's thigh with a toothbrush when they "misbehave". I didn't know infants could misbehave, but apparently I had a lot to learn. The actual "You are a bad mother" quote came from a time PW noticed my 2-year-old drank milk from a baby bottle. I guess I was spoiling her.
2) Bad church member: PW circulated a story that had me storming into her office (yes, PW needed her own office complex) and telling her that I was too important to serve in the nursery. Hi, these people hit babies with toothbrushes, you had better believe I wanted to be in that nursery. When we met with PW's husband, the Pastor and presumed leader of the church, he said, "You're right. She lied and has a problem with you but I am married to her and I'll deny this meeting ever happened."
3) Evil: yes, evil. Part of my badness was being a sorority member. I was told to take back any oaths I had made and repent. But the kicker was one night, when we were not in attendance, a lecture was given, complete with flowcharts, about how we (specifically me and my family) were not part of any prophecy and, in fact, were sent by the devil. I'm not even sort of kidding. They were shown how we had come in, and who we brought with us and how evil we all were. They said anyone who had come into contact with us could come forward for cleansing, and several people did. Like my old best friend, for whom I served as her Matron-of-Honor at her wedding to the man we introduced her to. We were shunned. Not that we didn't already have one foot out the door, but this made it official.
Since then we have had many people call us who eventually left under similar circumstances or after having realized what actually happened with us. A lot of people are still there. Some of them were dear friends of ours. Dear, like people we had listed as alternate guardians in our Wills. That kind of Dear. Now, even all these years later, these people will reverse their shopping carts if they see us at the grocery store. The PW completely ignores me. She will talk to my husband, but not me, even if I look her in the eye and say, "Hello". It doesn't matter where we are, it happened once at a movie theater and again not long ago at a funeral.
So, did the eager Young Married Group Leaders, MOPS leader, intercessory prayer group member, choir member, run to another church? Um, not so much.
Oh, and my blast-from-the-past? Meeting, in a totally random fashion, my old best friend's new best friend. They are all going to a marriage seminar at that same church this weekend. Good luck with that, and, watch your back.
posted by Her Serene Highness will do at 1:44 PM
1 Comments:
How can supposed "church" people be so hipocritical?? These small minded people sound like they have WAAAYYY too much time on their hands and maybe they should spend that time actually reading the Bible instead of acting in a manner that defies it! Good luck and I am sorry you have to deal with such immature, small minded idiots.
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