The Perfect Woman
Do you have a perfect woman in your life? You may be one and not even know it!
You know who I mean, she's pretty and thin, has cute kids and a perfect house. She usually has some other great talent, got good grades and is generally all-around fabulous. Well, I have two of them in my life. We'll call them Type-A and Type-A+. Type-A is a CPA with an architect husband and two little boys. They live in a stunning house of his design and manage to take many fun-filled vacations. She is also an award winning dancer and although in her late 30's has the body of a showgirl. I once helped her move to a new home and when I came across some random thing I asked her where her junk drawer was located. She just looked at me and said, "I don't have one of those." HUH? Can I just tell you how many of "those" I have and that they are the key to my sanity? I secretely got an evil jolly when she became pregnant, thinking kids would really shake up her reality. Plus, childbirth is messy! Of course children have not swayed her from her orderly course one bit. Her boys have always slept through the night and always put their toys in the pottery barn cubicles when they are finished playing.
Type-A+ is perfect in her own way, which is what makes having two of them as friends particularly diabolical. A+ isn't wealthy, but I swear the girl can do anything. Her husband travels a lot and she knows how to do any kind of home maintenance. She once built her own screen door and painted it the perfect shade of Martha Stewart green. At any given time she has a jumbo batch of frozen cookie dough ready to slice and bake. Homemade, of course. She is a Jill of all trades and is literally the Google of our neighborhood. If you need an answer, ask A+. The only thing A+ isn't really, really good at is calling before she comes over. I swear it's a test! She pops in unannounced to make sure she is still number one. You could drop in on her at any hour and she would be ready for company and would invite you to lunch. She'd even send you home with flowers from her garden. If you've read my blog, you know how I feel about unexpected company. Bing Bong! Oh look, it's A+ at my door, kids in tow. I clean my house, I really do, but I'm not ready for company with no notice. Instead of going through the apologies for the state of my post-Fourth of July house, I just closed the door behind me and we visited in the yard! She weeded my flower bed, no joke. That's not the first time I've done that and I'm sure it's a topic in the neighborhood. I am the crazy lady who won't let you in her house unless she specifically invites you in. Kool-aid Mom, I ain't. I just like to give myself a big old break now and then and just be a bag lady and play with my kids. That is not the time for the white glove brigade to stop by for inspection. Clearly, I have issues. But I always call before I come over.
You know who I mean, she's pretty and thin, has cute kids and a perfect house. She usually has some other great talent, got good grades and is generally all-around fabulous. Well, I have two of them in my life. We'll call them Type-A and Type-A+. Type-A is a CPA with an architect husband and two little boys. They live in a stunning house of his design and manage to take many fun-filled vacations. She is also an award winning dancer and although in her late 30's has the body of a showgirl. I once helped her move to a new home and when I came across some random thing I asked her where her junk drawer was located. She just looked at me and said, "I don't have one of those." HUH? Can I just tell you how many of "those" I have and that they are the key to my sanity? I secretely got an evil jolly when she became pregnant, thinking kids would really shake up her reality. Plus, childbirth is messy! Of course children have not swayed her from her orderly course one bit. Her boys have always slept through the night and always put their toys in the pottery barn cubicles when they are finished playing.
Type-A+ is perfect in her own way, which is what makes having two of them as friends particularly diabolical. A+ isn't wealthy, but I swear the girl can do anything. Her husband travels a lot and she knows how to do any kind of home maintenance. She once built her own screen door and painted it the perfect shade of Martha Stewart green. At any given time she has a jumbo batch of frozen cookie dough ready to slice and bake. Homemade, of course. She is a Jill of all trades and is literally the Google of our neighborhood. If you need an answer, ask A+. The only thing A+ isn't really, really good at is calling before she comes over. I swear it's a test! She pops in unannounced to make sure she is still number one. You could drop in on her at any hour and she would be ready for company and would invite you to lunch. She'd even send you home with flowers from her garden. If you've read my blog, you know how I feel about unexpected company. Bing Bong! Oh look, it's A+ at my door, kids in tow. I clean my house, I really do, but I'm not ready for company with no notice. Instead of going through the apologies for the state of my post-Fourth of July house, I just closed the door behind me and we visited in the yard! She weeded my flower bed, no joke. That's not the first time I've done that and I'm sure it's a topic in the neighborhood. I am the crazy lady who won't let you in her house unless she specifically invites you in. Kool-aid Mom, I ain't. I just like to give myself a big old break now and then and just be a bag lady and play with my kids. That is not the time for the white glove brigade to stop by for inspection. Clearly, I have issues. But I always call before I come over.
posted by Her Serene Highness will do at 5:06 PM
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