AOL? What did I ever do to you?

The stars and planets have aligned signaling the beginning of Mable's firestorm of doom. Poor Mable. (that's me) My car went crazy yesterday. It started with the wipers. They wouldn't stop wiping. This was a sign of very bad things to come. I hate my car today. Wherever I go, things don't work: pens don't write, phones don't work. It's enough to send a girl right over the edge. Then, when I check my email I find I have no email. No, no email ACCOUNT. Hi, I've been a good AOL customer since 1996, that's right, 1996. And today they tell me they have no idea why my account has disappeared, but it's gone, baby, gone. Not my whole account, because they love to charge me for my inter-web, don't you know. Just my most important screenname, address book and files. When I ask why, techABB just types, "that screenname does not exist". I repress my urge to hit caps lock and say, "Well, it did yesterday!" A month ago AOL decided it hated everyone who sent me email to my primary account. No more email for Mable! When I asked, techNUU typed, "AOL thinks your email is bulk and is blocking it". Period. Dot. Won't fix it. Now along with all pens, phones, clocks, eyeliners, remotes, cars, keyboards and microwaves, I also hate AOL.