* * * Notes from my snow cave* * *
Part One
Hello, friends. I'm still here. Buried under a couple of feet of snow, but still here and still kicking, hard. I thought you might like to hear how we survived the great blizzard. When last we spoke, I was freaking out about having kids in the only schools open in our entire state during the worst blizzard in 5 years. Right after I logged off, the schools decided it might be a good idea to close early. Normally I feel guilty for driving a suburban, not that day. I put it in 4High and plowed my way toward the schools, leaving a wake of rear wheel drive cars in the ditches behind me. I'm from Montana, I know how to drive in snow and ice, 4wd or no. At the light one half block from the highschool, I cannot see the school through the snow. I pick up my daughter and her (ahem) boyfriend whose own father can't get out of his driveway (wuss) and then proceed to the junior high where we are in line behind several school buses, each one taking it's turn in getting stuck in the school drop-off/pick-up zone. Not wanting to enter that Bermuda Triangle of doom, I am able to signal for my daughter to climb out to my car. With the kids celebrating in the streets, the parents losing it behind the wheel and the bus drivers skidding into the curbs, we would still be there I am sure. Off to the elementary school where I commit the worst offense by parking in the teacher's lot. I actually wanted some hyper mother in an orange vest to ask me to move, I welcomed it. All kids safe we head back home, past all of the still-stuck cars and to our house for the duration. Before we get home, we attempt to take one of the two entryways into our neighborhood. Two cars are stuck, but I see them in time to keep going to the second option. When I get there I turn in too late to realize I am now 6th in a line of cars stuck in the snow. Mama Grizzly Bear will not be stopped. I put it in reverse, back safely onto the 40mph road, drive over the meridian and enter the neighborhood by driving up the wrong way to get around the stranded cars. I had smugly gone to the grocery store the night before and had somehow forgotten milk. Big mistake for a family that easily goes through 6 gallons a week. We have ours delivered and the milk co. has now missed two delivery days due to snow. They must be pouring it on the ground. I hope they are able to recover once we're back to normal.
Part Two
Once the snow stopped, we and our neighbors realized we could be in trouble. Our houses sit at the bottom of a hill on a street that is now a 2+ foot sea of heavy snow. It would be days before the city got plows to us, so we go together and hire a plow to dig us a path to the main road. It was a huge job. The plow ran out of gas and all the neighbors pooled their mower gas together to refill the plow. We were all so grateful, we sent the plowers (driver and 6 shovelers) off to their next job with piles of cookies and beer. They were happy.
On Christmas Eve my great Aunt Agnes died. She lived in another state and had been an Alzheimer's patient for the past few years. Agnes was 94 and a total sweetheart. She was a Worthy Advisor in Rainbow Girls, a Campfire Girl and a member of several other service groups. She called everyone "Dear" and she meant it. She was extremely generous with everything she had to offer and in her death she made clear the charities her estate was to benefit. This brings me to my new rant: funeral homes. My Mom went to the Mortuary to make the arrangements and is met by a man who honestly asked her how much she had to spend on her Aunt's funeral. Like a car salesman. Agnes wished to be cremated so Mom was shown a lovely variety of urns to hold Agnes' remains. These urns were all in the several hundred dollar range. When Mom balked, she was offered a tin box and a guilt trip. She chose a lovely urn and was then shown her choices for burial containers to hold the urn as Agnes was to be buried in her family plot. Another great range from magnificent to ply-wood. Oh, and then there is the casket. Casket?! She's being cremated! Yes, but we need a casket to move her from the mortuary to the crematorium. Um, that's across the hall. Yes, but that's they way we do it. How much would you like to spend? My Mom told them to call her when it was time and she would come and carry her Aunt across the hall herself. They came to some sort of agreement and then the accessories had to be selected. Would you like a guest book that matches the Urn? That's $120. Add matching programs? How about a lovely display board? $500. I am not kidding. I told Mom to go to Office Depot and buy a board and easel. Then they began to tell her the charges for the church. This was crossing so many lines. This guy was telling my Mom, the Deacon (Elder? Head honchette?) how much HER church would charge her for the service. She told him she would talk with the minister herself, thanks. Okay, my Mom is not cheap. She was spending her Aunt's money and there was plenty for this funeral. Agnes made clear she wanted a simple service and to be put next to her husband in the family plot. For this funeral guy to give my Mom a guilt trip, like she was cheap or not honoring her Aunt at a time like that goes beyond decency. He actually offered a near-cardboard box used for indigent people and asked if that would work. What a racket. I live in another state and we've just had this little blizzard thing so I'm not going anywhere, which is sad. And the news tells us another smaller but heavy duty storm coming in the next couple of days.
Well, that feels better. I don't even care if anyone reads this. Around these parts, if Old Mable isn't happy, well, nobody would dare to be happy. I've vented and now I'm going out to play in the snow.
Hello, friends. I'm still here. Buried under a couple of feet of snow, but still here and still kicking, hard. I thought you might like to hear how we survived the great blizzard. When last we spoke, I was freaking out about having kids in the only schools open in our entire state during the worst blizzard in 5 years. Right after I logged off, the schools decided it might be a good idea to close early. Normally I feel guilty for driving a suburban, not that day. I put it in 4High and plowed my way toward the schools, leaving a wake of rear wheel drive cars in the ditches behind me. I'm from Montana, I know how to drive in snow and ice, 4wd or no. At the light one half block from the highschool, I cannot see the school through the snow. I pick up my daughter and her (ahem) boyfriend whose own father can't get out of his driveway (wuss) and then proceed to the junior high where we are in line behind several school buses, each one taking it's turn in getting stuck in the school drop-off/pick-up zone. Not wanting to enter that Bermuda Triangle of doom, I am able to signal for my daughter to climb out to my car. With the kids celebrating in the streets, the parents losing it behind the wheel and the bus drivers skidding into the curbs, we would still be there I am sure. Off to the elementary school where I commit the worst offense by parking in the teacher's lot. I actually wanted some hyper mother in an orange vest to ask me to move, I welcomed it. All kids safe we head back home, past all of the still-stuck cars and to our house for the duration. Before we get home, we attempt to take one of the two entryways into our neighborhood. Two cars are stuck, but I see them in time to keep going to the second option. When I get there I turn in too late to realize I am now 6th in a line of cars stuck in the snow. Mama Grizzly Bear will not be stopped. I put it in reverse, back safely onto the 40mph road, drive over the meridian and enter the neighborhood by driving up the wrong way to get around the stranded cars. I had smugly gone to the grocery store the night before and had somehow forgotten milk. Big mistake for a family that easily goes through 6 gallons a week. We have ours delivered and the milk co. has now missed two delivery days due to snow. They must be pouring it on the ground. I hope they are able to recover once we're back to normal.
Part Two
Once the snow stopped, we and our neighbors realized we could be in trouble. Our houses sit at the bottom of a hill on a street that is now a 2+ foot sea of heavy snow. It would be days before the city got plows to us, so we go together and hire a plow to dig us a path to the main road. It was a huge job. The plow ran out of gas and all the neighbors pooled their mower gas together to refill the plow. We were all so grateful, we sent the plowers (driver and 6 shovelers) off to their next job with piles of cookies and beer. They were happy.
On Christmas Eve my great Aunt Agnes died. She lived in another state and had been an Alzheimer's patient for the past few years. Agnes was 94 and a total sweetheart. She was a Worthy Advisor in Rainbow Girls, a Campfire Girl and a member of several other service groups. She called everyone "Dear" and she meant it. She was extremely generous with everything she had to offer and in her death she made clear the charities her estate was to benefit. This brings me to my new rant: funeral homes. My Mom went to the Mortuary to make the arrangements and is met by a man who honestly asked her how much she had to spend on her Aunt's funeral. Like a car salesman. Agnes wished to be cremated so Mom was shown a lovely variety of urns to hold Agnes' remains. These urns were all in the several hundred dollar range. When Mom balked, she was offered a tin box and a guilt trip. She chose a lovely urn and was then shown her choices for burial containers to hold the urn as Agnes was to be buried in her family plot. Another great range from magnificent to ply-wood. Oh, and then there is the casket. Casket?! She's being cremated! Yes, but we need a casket to move her from the mortuary to the crematorium. Um, that's across the hall. Yes, but that's they way we do it. How much would you like to spend? My Mom told them to call her when it was time and she would come and carry her Aunt across the hall herself. They came to some sort of agreement and then the accessories had to be selected. Would you like a guest book that matches the Urn? That's $120. Add matching programs? How about a lovely display board? $500. I am not kidding. I told Mom to go to Office Depot and buy a board and easel. Then they began to tell her the charges for the church. This was crossing so many lines. This guy was telling my Mom, the Deacon (Elder? Head honchette?) how much HER church would charge her for the service. She told him she would talk with the minister herself, thanks. Okay, my Mom is not cheap. She was spending her Aunt's money and there was plenty for this funeral. Agnes made clear she wanted a simple service and to be put next to her husband in the family plot. For this funeral guy to give my Mom a guilt trip, like she was cheap or not honoring her Aunt at a time like that goes beyond decency. He actually offered a near-cardboard box used for indigent people and asked if that would work. What a racket. I live in another state and we've just had this little blizzard thing so I'm not going anywhere, which is sad. And the news tells us another smaller but heavy duty storm coming in the next couple of days.
Well, that feels better. I don't even care if anyone reads this. Around these parts, if Old Mable isn't happy, well, nobody would dare to be happy. I've vented and now I'm going out to play in the snow.
posted by Her Serene Highness will do at 11:47 AM
1 Comments:
I just read a book I think you would like. It's called the Funeral Planner by Lynn Isenberg. It's a novel about an enterprising business woman who keeps trying to start up a business. After several failed attempts, she goes home for a funeral, where she sees how impersonal they are. That gets her started on a great idea...It's really a good book!
Roses,
Steph
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